There was a time in my life, right before I got married, when I stepped outside of my mind to see the world from someone else’s point of view. I was tired. No, I was exhausted, from the energy it took to be constantly angry and resentful of just about everything. I was sick of being hurt by every man with authority over me who seemed to eerily remind me of my father. I worried that I would carry this anger into my marriage or into motherhood with me. It was time to for a new approach.
My parents had been divorced for longer than they had been married by the time I turned 23. I spent most of my life thinking about all of the things I had to miss out on because they split up. I openly blamed them both for the emotional baggage I carried around like a security blanket everywhere I went. As early as 13 years old I developed a razor sharp tongue that would cut them both recklessly. I made sure to rub salt in the fresh wounds that their break up had left behind. Thankfully, after I had barely blown out the candles on my 23rd birthday cake, everything changed. I began to seek Christ and develop a deeper relationship with God than I had ever maintained before. Through this relationship I began to see clearly that I needed to repair the rift between my father before trying to start a family of my own.
In the realm outside of my mind, I began to see life from my father’s eyes. I witnessed a trio of children suddenly appear in my life, tugging at my shoelaces to play as I struggled to climb the corporate ladder at work. I felt my marriage falling apart and my emotions spiraling out of control. I shuddered at the coldness that comes with not knowing how to express your emotions and being misunderstood. My children grew up before my eyes so far away that I could barely see them. I did my best to make up for…everything I knew that I had ruined for them. It seemed like I had an endless debt to pay. Somewhere inside I knew that I would never stop pulling out my wallet, no matter the cost.
I began to seek Christ and develop a deeper relationship with God than I had ever maintained before. Through this relationship I began to see clearly that I needed to repair the rift between my father before trying to start a family of my own.
Stepping outside of my own hurt was the first step to forgiving my father. It not only saved our relationship, it saved me. Forgiving him helped me to release a stream of negative energy that I didn’t even know I was holding on to. Remember, before he was your father…he was a person. Just like you. He wasn’t perfect, he may have messed up, and he may never apologize to you. Jesus knows these same things about us…and guess what? He forgives us and loves us beyond what we could ever imagine just the same. How would you feel if someone you owed a huge debt to told you that it had been taken care of? What would you do if someone you loved who happened to also be someone you hurt gave you the chance to start over with them, to wipe the slate clean? Can you feel your spirit lifting at just the thought of it?
Be that person for your father.
Stepping outside of my own hurt was the first step to forgiving my father.
Meet the Author:
Elle Morrison is a 27 year old Christian blogger, YouTuber, and facilitator of a small group fellowship for women called Great Is Her Faith. She was born and raised in the south, but is now a midwestern wife and mother of two beautiful girls. As a follower of Jesus Christ and a citizen in the Kingdom of God, she tries her best to shine light and sprinkle salt over anyone and anything that crosses her path.
Follow her on Instagram @GreatIsHerFaithSubscribe her blog at: https://greatisherfaith.wordpress.com
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